Life has been crazy, to say the least. I haven’t posted anything in a while because all of the posts that I have written were ready to be posted but my voice isn’t the one that needs to be heard right now. You already know what’s going on in the world and if you don’t, do your research because, oh boy, history is happening and you are apparently not paying attention. My page “Use Your Voice” will remain on my blog for the foreseeable future and I highly encourage you all to look at it and take your time to go through and do whatever you can to help our black friends and family live a fair and just life that so many of us are already privileged to have.
So, where have I been? Long story short: I have not been doing well. Here’s the long story:
Since I have been home from Florida, my life got weird. Some things have gotten better. I started to learn about and practice modern witchcraft (judge me if you will, even if you think it’s just a bunch of hocus pocus, pun intended, it is still an incredibly interesting practice and I highly recommend looking it up even for curiosity sake), I have taken my vitamins every day (!) and I have adjusted back to the climate up here… for the time being (summer is my favorite). But as for my mental health, it is still a little rocky.
Although Florida was a good experience and I met and hung out with some of the best people ever, I had to pack away and donate a lot of the things that reminded me of living there and temporarily remove some people from social media because I would get so frustrated and upset when I saw them and I would just shut down. I do not regret going down there, but there are some things I definitely would have done differently because I probably would have stayed had I been able to afford it, gotten out of a toxic living situation, and had more time to be on my own to sort things through.
When I got home, I had a few dissociative episodes, even while driving, that scared me so much because it’s something I had never experienced before. My depression and anxiety* haven’t really gotten better, if anything it is the same as while I was there. I didn’t really get to hang out with my friends as much as I wanted to after not really seeing them when I moved because a month and a half being home, the world shut down. I never really got the chance to “get back to normal” and it has taken a toll on me.
Being in self-isolation from the ongoing pandemic, major body image issues, working a ton, worrying about my fall semester classes, trying to figure out my financial future, and feeling useless in the efforts to help the current civil justice movement, I haven’t had the time or ability to get my mind back to where it was this time last year, which still needed improvement, but it was a massive step in the right direction from where it used to be.
But where am I going with all of this? It is basically just a life update from me simply to say I have not given up blogging and you will be seeing from me soon! And if there are specific things you want me to write about or put on my blog I am open to all of your suggestions and you can message me pretty much anywhere. I am always open to your questions and suggestions, just contact me the way that is easiest for you!
*I have not been properly diagnosed with anxiety or depression because I can’t afford it yet, but I am looking into ways of getting a proper diagnosis and help for myself as well.